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|Interests||Football, rugby, judo|
Espionage, Frankensteins, Jam, Liquid, O'Neill's, Triplekirks|
|Biography||1983 - Born in a mud hut outside Kabul, raised by bald Japanese monkeys.|
1990 - Broke free from Kabul and those blasted monkeys and hitchhiked to France. Made money by pickpocketing idle tourists on the Champs Elysees.
1995 - Made my way to the UK by stowing aboard Eurostar. Lived in the basement of Buckingham Palace, developed a fetish for wigs.
2001 - Voted off the French version of Big Brother because i refused to wear any clothes and say nothing except for "Keep out of the black and into the red, there's nothing in this game for two in a bed" in Arabic.
2004 - Was threatened with extradition to the US following a protest campaigning to put a stop to US Parliamentary elections and for George Dubya to remain President for life.